So, after dilly-dallying for many years, I’ve finally listened to an album’s worth (Venereology) of Merzbow. It’s been on my iPod for several years but I never had the courage to listen to it through. I’d always start but just couldn’t finish. That has always been my bane. I have told myself many times over that someday I’d be able to understand Merzbow’s music. Or at the very least be courageous enough. That time finally came this morning. It is with much irony that after listening to classical music almost exclusively for four and a half months, the first music I deviated to was the anguish and sadness and chaos that is Merzbow. Am I that angry? Am I that disillusioned with society – and in turn, the world? Am I that hopeless? Have I gone overboard with the raging violence in my heart? Did I just turn into a total prick and am trying to be obnoxious? Or could it be that there’s just too much love in me? Love for this world that seems to destroy itself every day.
This is what I feel like listening to Merzbow!
I guess I won’t know the answer just yet. And, although there was a strange pleasure listening to Merzbow this morning, I still don’t understand him. Most probably I never will. But the ice has been broken. Finally.